The Privilege of Serving Shelli

Yesterday my wife Shelli had reconstructive knee surgery. One bad step on a tennis court left Shelli with a torn ACL and meniscus damage. From the time we left the hospital yesterday Shelli has been completely dependent on me for everything. For the most basic needs I have waited on her for everything. While there have been times of sickness over the years this time of recovery has been different. Since I am older now and have aging family members I can mentally time warp into Shelli and I's 'golden years' where one of us may be caring for the other. While no one can predict the future I can say that this little glimpse into a possible future has been a blessing. I am sure the heavy load that some care givers have is unimaginable and I don't mean to assume after one day of care giving that I understand. But I understand more today than I did yesterday.

For her comfort Shelli is camped out up stairs. This means I have had 100 trips up and down the steps (I need the exercise so no problem.) She is in a great deal of pain and that hurts me to see her suffer. She constantly needs something: water, pills, her phone, her computer, her purse, etc. There are the house chores that must be done-dishes, clothes, pets, kids, and so on. And I feel like all of this must be done with an unusually positive attitude because Shelli will feel bad if she thinks she is being a burden to me. Because she is so giving, not being able to give when someone else is giving to her is tough for her. But I don't want anything to be tough for her.

None of this is a complaint; just a reality check for me. What I now know is care giving is tough, especially when the other person is completely dependent. But I think I better understand how to handle the job of care giving. First, what makes it much more easy is the person you are serving. It is a privilege to serve Shelli. She has given me so much love and support over the years that it is nothing to serve her. Secondly, see it as your responsibilty. Serving her is part of my job as her husband; before God I pledged as much when I said, "I do." Thirdly, accept help any where you can. I have been so blessed by my small group and The Crossing family. Meals are being delivered, one of our ladies is coming to stay with Shelli during Logan's game Friday, and their have been numerous calls of support and offers of help. You need to be in small group if for no other reason just for the support of friends during tough times.

In closing I am feeling so blessed. I have a wonderful wife and no matter what happens in our later years I will be privileged to care for her. I have precious friends who partner with me for a purpose bigger than ourselves. I am surrounded by good things!