My Nephew AJ Wellman Speaks at Pastor and Son's Funeral

A few weeks ago I told you about my sister Mindy's pastor and son, Forrest and Preston Pollock who were killed in a plane crash. My nephew AJ was an inseparable friend to Preston. AJ is the middle kid in this picture. Here is a link to an article about the funeral.

http://www.floridabaptistwitness.com/8875.article

The Power of Ownership

In this discussion about making what matters, matter in a church it is essential that we talk about how the attendees feel about the church. The fact is their feelings and the resultant contribution they make will determine the impact of it.

For years churches have labored to engender strong feelings in people for their church. Two things have been emphasized: assimilation and membership. Assimilation is simply the process for creating more and more connection between the attendee and the church. It is the church's version of matriculation. And then membership is seen as the goal of assimilation. When they join, the conventional wisdom is that they are completely assimilated.

There is an inherent weakness that I have seen played out over and over again. The number of members a church has hardly represents how a church is doing. Members are among those who quit coming, leave for another church, never serve, never give, cause dissension, etc. Churches have attempted to resolve this by making membership more clear and the requirements more heavy. This does not solve the problem because members still do what they want to do. Apparently being a member does not generate the kind of passion and commitment that one would think. I do not really believe the problem is membership however--I think the problem is assimilation.

First of all I don't even like the word, assimilation. It reminds me of the Borg from Star Trek. Who wants to disappear into a cold, lifeless machine as some invisible cog? I think we have incorrectly looked at assimilation as mostly relational. If they have friends at our church we see them as assimilated. But having a friend in an organization does not create a passion for the organization. It is simply a playground.

Now people certainly need friends and the church needs the people to have friendships too. But this does not directly advance the organization. If those friends however share a passion for the church and that passion is focused on certain common goals and vision then you have something truly powerful.

I think real power is found when people feel not like members or even partners, but like owners. The way someone treats a rental car or house vs. their own car or house illustrates the difference. The transition that must occur to really see people acting with great commitment and passion is get people not to feel like they belong to the church but to feel like the church belongs to them. Let's talk about how we can do that in the next few days...the power of ownership.

Questioning What Matters: Followers

We discussed the realities of leading in the church on Tuesday. Today we will discuss following leaders to do what really matters. We mentioned that in the Bible leaders sensed God's direction, informed the people of the direction, and the people then had to follow the leader. In most cases that is exactly what happened.

In our world, following is a more challenging reality than in days gone by. Now people are well-educated, experienced in leadership arenas themselves, and carrying a somewhat jaded perspective of pastors. The pastor used to be the smartest/most educated person in the room. He/she used to have respect just because of their title. And most of the people either were not in leadership arenas or if they were, they were not as aware of the skill leadership requires. This is not to blame the people but to state the realities of leadership in the church in this era. People have to be much more wisely led by pastors than they used to be.

But for any person, following is not easy especially if you are a leader yourself. Most of us from birth have wanted to do things our way and discard the leadership of others. How can we follow today when following is difficult and pastors are not as easy to follow as they used to be? I think it begins with understanding leading/following accountability. I believe leaders will have to give God an account of how they have led their followers. But followers will also have to give God an account of how they have followed. Once we know that we will be judged by God it makes those involved with leading and following take it much more seriously.

Secondly, understand that God, like a great general intends to take you into harm's way. Your pastor is not your general but the lower ranking officer leading your specific regiment. God is the general and your pastor is just leading you where the general wants you to go, and quite often that will be some place where sacrifice or risk is involved. The leader in spite of their outward appearance is scared too. The problem is not in being led some place scary but being led someplace that isn't scary. Because it is a risk it is probably of God. Or at least one quality that all of God's plans seems to have is risk. Accept and expect your leadership to take you some place risky...it is usually the only place worth going.

Last, accept your leader's humanity--God has. Even though they have heard from God they carry the message, as Paul said, "in earthen vessels." Mistakes happen. But not nearly as many as when prayer happens. How are you praying for your leader...or are you praying for your leader at all? Are you praying for me...I need it! It is amazing how people feel about me when they have been praying for me. Somehow, at least to them, I am a better speaker, leader, counselor, friend, etc. because they have been praying for me.

In spite of all their weaknesses and flaws, God has chosen your leader. He knows them better than anyone and yet he chose them. We would not want to find ourselves fighting against God and yet we may well be doing so if we are not following our leader. And the exciting thing is that we can make what matters, matter when leaders lead like they should and followers follow like they should.

Questioning What Matters: Leaders

Unfortunately I have been denying my own point because this blog really matters but I have not been posting enough. Hopefully you like the new look. I have just been so busy that I got behind in my writing. I am still talking about what matters (see previous article.)

Today I have a question for you: how do you know what matters? This is challenging because everyone has their own ideas. It is hard to make what matters matter if those who have to make what matters matter don't agree on what matters...if you get my drift. We have to agree on it or we will always be questioning it or working with less motivation because we have not agreed on it.

It may be different in the corporate world but there is really only one way it works in God's business. In biblical instances, the leader got what matters from God (ie. the direction they should go, the mission they should have, etc.) who shared it with the people who accepted it as their own and the people and the leader then moved forward to accomplish it. There was no vote, no ballot, no list of various choices, no parliamentary procedure or moved, seconded, and approved. Joshua heard from God, "You and all these people, enter the Promised Land." He told the people and they entered the Promised Land. Seems easy enough, right?

But there are two distinct challenges that make it tough. The first is the leader following God and the second is the people following the leader. This article will focus on following God as a leader. We will talk about following leaders tomorrow.

It is not easy to follow God as a Christian leader. First, what God asks you to do will be scary. The sooner you accept that fact, the easier scary will be for you. God repeatedly told Joshua, "do not be afraid," words he must have needed to hear. Christian leadership is always scary. If it isn't, you are either taking the wrong/easier road or you never really heard from God about what was the right/difficult road.

That illustrates another truth about following God as a leader. It is often vague. No wonder we are afraid--we are just not sure; but we feel the people need us to have no doubts. So often we are afraid of our people and what they are going to do or say if we fail: will we lose our jobs? will they leave the church? etc. But here is a rock solid truth about christian leadership: To lead people well, you to have to love them...but to lead them where God wants you to lead them, you have to be willing to put them and you at risk.

The very best way not to question yourself overly is to make sure you have marinated your decision in three areas: The Word, prayer, and wise counsel. Look for confirmation of what you think you should do in these areas. God will speak and more clarity will be given. And clarity is the antidote for questioning. Tomorrow we will talk about followers.

So How Do We Make What Matters, Matter?

After positing this thought on my blog yesterday I have taken some time to think about it and have become convinced that there is one essential first step. In God's Kingdom a leader is called to a role and God gives that leader a vision for that role. That vision in its purest form flows from what the leader feels passionately in his heart. If he crafts a vision from what he has heard from other churches or learned in conferences but not from the inspired feelings of his soul he does not have a vision that will inspire others or is even from God. The person God made that leader to be has a set of experiences and corresponding passions that is the prerequisite for the job God has called that leader to perform. To deny the passion and create a vision that does not flow from that passion is to be irrelevant in that role. It is like a great pitcher who is trying be a hitter. He was called there to pitch.

So the first step is this: discover what matters to the leader. What do they feel in their heart that they are called there to do? What is their passion and what should our organization do with them to achieve it?

I want you to know that I am called here to inspire people to become passionate followers of Jesus Christ. I am really not that interested in anything else in the church world. I want to see our people at The Crossing bringing people to our gatherings and see those new people inspired to follow Christ passionately. That is what matters and that is the most important first step.

So now our task is to figure out how to make what matters, inspiring people to become passionate followers of Christ, matter!

Making What Matters, Matter

The point of my blog article on all the natural disasters was that we can so easily get off track on things that are not what matters. The famous Steven R. Covey quote applies to business and ministry...the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing.

It begs the question, what really matters? What is the one indispensible focus that we cannnot do without? Or better stated what is thing those around us most need? I am convinced it is the message of Christ and the transformation that comes from following Him.

I will talk more about this tomorrow. We need to openly dialog about what we need to do make what matters, matter.

Sad News

I am so sad to tell you that Pastor Forrest Pollock of Bell Shoals Baptist Church and his 13 year old son Preston were found today in the North Carolina Mtns at the site of the plane crash that took their lives Sunday afternoon. Please remember his wife and children as they cope with the loss of a husband and father and a son and brother. I am sure this will cause such brokenness in that congregation as well. Thankfully they are with the Lord now and the congregation can rejoice in their lives. My sister Mindy and her family attend the church. Pastor Pollock's son was my nephew A.J.'s best friend. I know God can heal them all.

Pastor and Son Missing

I just wanted ask all of you to pray for Pastor Pollock of the Bell Shoals Baptist church in the Tampa area. He was piloting a plane with his 13 year old son that has apparently gone down in the NC mountains. My sister Mindy and her family attend the church. Here is a link where you can get updates. http://www.bellshoals.com/pastor.

Massive Tragedy and What Really Matters

No words can describe the horrors experienced by the people in Myanmar. The hurricane (called a cyclone in that part of the world) may cause 150,000 deaths by next week and 4 times that number are injured, homeless, and destitute. In China this morning an earthquake caused at least 5000 deaths and who knows how much physical, financial, and emotional destruction. And right here in GA and in other places across the country several people have been killed, wounded, and left homeless. One family in one of our sister Churches of the Nazarene in Central GA was killed today by a tornado.

In the last few years we have seen more of these occurances in more different ways than I can recall. Katrina is still fresh in our minds nearly two years later. The War on Terror has taken the lives of a few thousand of our countrymen and women. Certainly the Iraqi people have suffered even more. The 9/11 tragedy continues to haunt us and the world with soaring gas prices. Tsunami's, hurricanes, cyclones, tornados, wars, famines, epidemics...the world seems to be convulsing.

When you do the math on the tragedies since the new millenium the information is staggering. With all the warfare, famine, epidemics, and natural disasters combined more than 5 million people have died since 2000. Unfortunately the size of the number hinders our ability to feel it. That figure includes nearly 1,000,000 children. There are some areas where entire cities were annihilated. Many homes experienced the deaths of the entire family including extended family. The 5 million deaths have created another 500,000 orphans. The world is suffering and dying.

Now don't misunderstand. I am not trying to depress you, get money from you, or make you feel bad for what you have. We are blessed to be Americans. Here is my concern. The churches, ours included, get so caught up in so many dumb things when there are people around us and around the world that will not wake up in this world tomorrow. Something tragic will be fall them and instantly a whole group of people will be swept into eternity. And based on their walk with God they are either in heaven or in hell, forever.

These massive tragedies should remind us that nothing else matters except helping people find God and become Christ-followers. God, help us to get our eyes on the people around us who need you. We cannot stop tragedies in this world...but we can make sure it does not also become a tragedy in the next!

New Beginnings and Letting Go

This month last year was a very painful one for me. I was letting go of my firstborn son Landon as he was graduating from high school. Believe me when I say it was very difficult. I actually had moments of just plain weeping at the thought.

I don't know why honestly. I was still going to be seeing him. He was only moving a few miles down the road to Norcross. I could call him anytime. It was just the idea I guess that he was not my little boy anymore. Now he had not actually been my little boy for a long time. In fact his desire to grow up had been strong from birth. There were many difficult arguments last spring prior to graduation because he was so ready to move on to the next phase of his life. And yet I weeped openly at his graduation. Letting go for his new beginning was not easy for me. I know many of you can relate because letting go of a child is part of your past, present, or future.

But you know it is probably a good thing some transitions are forced on us like graduation: we may not let go without it. This would prompt an unhealthy situation where the child won't grow up. Or on the other hand it could cause a situation where the child breaks away only by force or even violence.

But letting go is essential for the process of life to continue. I have often wondered if birds cry when they force their young out of the nest. God has instilled an instinct in them to make the transition possible but that doesn't mean the birds don't cry when they do. I wonder if the young birds cry too; how could their parents be so mean. But in the end when the young are soaring on the wind, building nests of their own, and securing the future with new hatchlings the parents aren't weeping then. I wonder then if birds smile...not just the parents but the young too.

New things are never easy but almost always necessary. God has designed natural changes into creation and given animals instincts for it. Certain patterns of life like graduation create the need for change in our own lives. So change is not our enemy--though it oftens feels like it is. That is why we need God to help us with letting go.

He truly understands the pain...letting his son come to earth knowing what he was going to be facing there had to painful beyond our comprehension. And yet he did it. But I think he saw something in the future that helped him let go...he saw you and I soaring, freed from sin, and living for him. And then God smiled in spite of his pain and let his son go. May God give you the ability with any change to see the beautful future awaiting you after the change. May God help you let go.

New Beginnings and Chocked Wheels

Whenever you are pushing something heavy any little thing can slow down your momentum. If you are trying to push a car a small rock in front of the wheel can slow you down or even stop you completely. That is why as you get started with the thing you know you need to be doing (fitness, dieting, giving, ministry, etc.)realize that there will be things that can slow you up and kill your progress...if you let them. Before you get started it would be wise to get any unnecessary thing out of the way that might slow you down. It is hard enough getting started let alone trying to overcome something that has the effect of chocking your wheels.

If you are attempting to follow God in doing something, realize that the Enemy knows he can make things challenging for your progress with just a small stone. Don't let anything stop you from doing what you know you should do. Unfortunately, people can be a hindrance to what God wants you to do. How often did someone try to stop Jesus from his work? Even an insider like Peter, brought on Jesus' chastisement for standing in the way of what God was doing. People, more than any other thing, were hindrances to Jesus...they are likely to be for us too.

I remember a story told by my senior pastor, Floyd B'Hymer when I was a youth pastor. As a gifted saxophonist, Floyd earned a full scholarship to the University of Kentucky. But after God spoke clearly to Floyd in a church service he knew his mission would be souls not saxophones. This call to preach meant attending Asbury College instead of a free ride at UK. Floyd was shocked to see his mother throw herself down on the bed in a childish tantrum, instead of congratulating him for following God. She was a fine woman of God, but because of her desire to see her son become a star musician she was fighting the work of God in his life. But soon she accepted what the Lord was doing and found great fulfillment in Floyd's ministry.

So often people can fight God's work in our lives. They may sound like they are concerned for us when they are really thinking of themselves. Don't let anyone, even someone who is close to you, chock the wheels of God's work in your life. In the end it will be better for everyone involved, yourself included. But more than anyone, the Lord will be proud of you because like Jesus, you didn't let anything stop you from following God.